Monday, March 15, 2010


What's wrong when you can't get up?  What happens when you don't know how to do what needs to be done?  When you try to work but everything you do just makes you feel like more of a jerk.  Time keeps flying by on a clock with a sinister stare.  It knows you need the ticks to slow, but it works harder to leave you bare. You're distracted by food and advertisements or the possibility of sexual gratification.  All in search of a satisfaction you can't find, of a quench for your unquenchable thirst. The sand collects in the pit of your stomach weighing you closer to the ground.  Just when you feel you can't take anymore you look to find there's no one standing around.  You're alone and you'll die this way.  So what is it you’re doing as those ticks fade away?  Why must you torture yourself with dreams of content?  What is this life and for who was it sent?  I don't know, I can't decipher the language or crack the code no matter what, or how hell bent.  I look for answers but I always turn back to the void.  I think if I can just get that quick nut?  Or just fuck her thick butt?  If I could just win one time… 

If I could just write that one line.

Then it'd be okay right? But I can hear that voice in the back of my mind.  Telling me I can't.  Telling me it won't.  The ash in my pit won't turn to sweet nectar.  That voice is a demon an empty threat left for destruction.  He's here to stop the things I feel just beneath the surface.  I won't let him.  I'm peeling now and the fresh soul is coming through.  It's clean and awake.  It's aware and it's true.  It's me and it's you. I can feel the energy you give me with a smile and a confident nod.  I can feel your love like it's coming from god.  I know this life lives in your eyes.  I know it's you that makes me try.  And I thank you for the gift you hand over each day.  Unselfishly you wrap it and pack it with needs.  The needs I've asked for with sorrowful eyes, the needs that allow me to search the night’s sky.  You made this dreamer.  It's you who believed, you who loved me when the world was conceived.  You've given me more than I could ever achieve you've offered that hand, that soul, that belief. You are amazing awesome and sweet.  These words sound so silly because to explain you it would take ones that haven't been imagined, spoken, perceived.

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