Monday, March 15, 2010

Eastbound and Down- Spec Script

Here is the next sequence of events from my Eastbound and Down spec script!  

SHOW TITLE: EASTBOUND & DOWN

CUT TO:

EXT. DILAPIDATED TRAILER - DAY (TITLE: SEVERAL SHITTY YEARS EARLIER)
Twelve year old Kenny stands with his older brother DUSTIN at his side, on the dirt road. Kenny wears an oversized (#55 POWERS) baseball jersey. A mustang speeds off, kicking up dirt in their faces.

YOUNG DUSTIN
Wanna go kick the shit out of mongoloid Mike?
The two boys smile at each other, pick up sticks, and run down the dirt road.

KENNY (V.O.)
Thank god we left that shitty ass trailer park and moved back home to Shelby.


CUT TO:

EXT. DILAPIDATED TRAILER - DAY (TITLE: SHITTY NOW)
The shotgun still digs into Kenny’s face. The door opens wider to reveal CLARK “super” POWERS (late fifties, Tom Selleck look, overweight, tacky Lion pendant, unruly chest hair, he wears an open robe and tight sweat pants.) 


KENNY (V.O.)
I spent my whole life trying to be like this mother fucker...  I had some good times on account of it too; millions of dollars, girls lickin’ my asshole, Mexican, Belizian, Spaniard pussy, and a shit ton of kickass b-b-ques... But, none of that matters now.  Here we are, standing in front of the same old fuckin’ trailer he left us at twenty-five years ago. 
Clark’s girlfriend WHISPER, a twenty-something blonde with big fake “everything,” walks by in the background, nude.


WHISPER (O.C.)
Supe? Who is it? Shit, come back and finish fuckin’ me!
Clark ignores her and keeps the gun on Kenny.

CLARK
I said.  Who the FUCK are you?

KENNY
What? It’s me... I’m your fuckin’ son. You don’t know who I am?
Kenny stares at the barrels of the gun. Clark pulls back the gun, smiling, and points it to Kenny’s crotch, revealing that Kenny has just urinated on himself. Clark then points the gun to the ground and starts laughing.  

CLARK 
Aw shit! It’s my piece a turd son.
Kenny looks down at the urine spot and tries wiping at it. Whisper walks up to the door laughing, still nude.  

WHISPER
Is he the smart one?

CLARK
Nope.  The fuckin’ retard who got all my talent. 

KENNY
Dusty? Pffft! I could have been a fuckin’
astronaut scientist.  Anyway, I just came to see if your sorry ass was still alive.  Some faggot agent said you were dead, so I had to come check for myself.  To be quite honest with you, I’m a little sad it isn’t true.  Kenny looks at Whisper with shame, then turns to leave.

CLARK
Come on.  You didn't drive all the way here in that black man’s truck just to come and see if I was alive. Come on in and have a Miller Lite you little pissed up bitch.  I have some sweat pants you can wear.
(to Whisper)
Put some fuckin’ clothes on and get this little pussy a diaper.  No, I’m just kiddin’!  Get him my nice sweat pants.  You know the ones you like me to make sweet animalistic love to you in.
Kenny looks disgusted.

KENNY
Diaper? Ha fuckin’ ha, asshole.  Other than coming to make sure you didn’t finally eat shit and die, I was coming to tell you how much you fucked me up, and--

CLARK
Na-na-naboo-boo.  Quit your fuckin’ cryin’. 
Clark walks away from Kenny and pulls out his last two Miller Lite cans from the fridge. 

INT. DILAPIDATED TRAILER
Kenny steps into the tiny trailer. It’s riddled with old pictures of Clark and various women, him playing baseball, trophies, and a poster of him which reads, “Samsung’s “SUPER” Lion CLARK POWERS”. A Samsung Lions Jersey (#55 POWERS) hangs encased in glass on the wall autographed by Clark Powers.

KENNY
You have your jersey, signed by you, hanging in your own fuckin’ house?
Clark comes up behind Kenny while he stares at the jersey. He gets eerily close to Kenny’s ear, his curled mustache nearly touches Kenny.

CLARK
You want it?  Thousand bucks, take it now! 
Kenny whips his head around. Clark is standing with the beers, smiling. Whisper comes out of the room in a slutty dress, holding sweats with a roaring lions head on the crotch.  

KENNY
No! I do not want your fuckin’ piece a shit jersey. Or your lion sweats, although they are one of the most awesome pieces of clothing I have ever seen in my short, yet beautiful life. 
(to Whisper)
And you.  I got to be honest with you.  I wouldn’t wear that to a dog fight.
(to Clark)
I will take a beer though.  We need to talk about some shit, you old fuck. 

CUT TO:

EXT. DUSTIN’S HOUSE - BACKYARD - DAY
Dustin is in his catcher’s gear. DUSTIN JR. holds the speedometer facing the strike zone. WAYNE, wearing Kenny’s jersey and cap, hurls one straight down the middle.  Dustin shakes his hand and smiles at Wayne.

DUSTIN
That was a heater!

Dustin Jr. looks at the speedometer and jumps up and down. CASSIE watches from the porch, smiling.  An arm wraps around her shoulder.  It’s STEVIE JINOWSKI wearing a Kenny Powers mask and hair hat. Cassie shakes off his arm and jogs into the yard to the safety of her family. Stevie flips her off.  ROSE mimicks Stevie from her baby walker. 

STEVIE
Church bitch.

CUT TO:

EXT. JEFFERSON DAVIS MIDDLE SCHOOL - MORNING 
Janitors are finishing up the quote on the school sign.  It reads, “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils... - Louis Hector Berlioz.

CUT TO:

INT./EXT. APRIL BUCHANAN’S CLASSROOM. - AFTERNOON
April sits at her desk, staring out the window.  She sees Cutler, outside chatting up one of the “hot moms.” Cutler pats the mom’s ass as she walks away, he turns back to see April watching, she glances away quickly and looks to Kenny’s bat which is in the trash.  She looks to her desk and sees the headshot he gave her, signed Powers XOXO!!!.

CUT TO:

INT. DUSTIN’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Jinowski lays in Kenny’s room staring at Kenny’s signed photo through the Kenny Mask he’s wearing.  Jinowski is obviously masturbating, with the door open.  He comes to a quick finish and turns to see Wayne across the hall, watching in horror.  Jinwoski pulls up the mask and looks at Wayne who’s squeezing his eyes closed. Jinowski slams the door. 

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